Discovering Your “Why” in Childbirth
Childbirth is one of the most transformative experiences in a person’s life. Whether it’s your first baby or your fourth, every pregnancy and birth come with their own set of emotions, challenges, and choices. Amid the planning, advice, and expectations from others, one of the most important things you can do is discover your why—the deep, personal reason that guides your choices in childbirth.
Why Does Your "Why" Matter?
Your why is the foundation of your birth journey. It’s what anchors you when doubts creep in, when decisions need to be made, and when labor feels overwhelming. It helps you navigate the noise of societal expectations, medical recommendations, and personal fears to find a path that aligns with you.
For some, the why is about healing from a past birth experience. For others, it’s about reclaiming autonomy, honoring cultural traditions, or simply desiring a peaceful, empowered entry into parenthood. No reason is too big or too small—what matters is that it’s yours.
Questions to Help You Find Your Birth "Why"
If you’re unsure of what’s driving your birth choices, take a moment to reflect on these questions:
What do I want to feel during my birth experience?
What fears do I have about birth, and where do they come from?
How do I view birth—as a medical event, a rite of passage, a spiritual journey, or something else?
What parts of my past birth experiences (if any) do I want to repeat or change?
What values matter most to me in this experience (autonomy, safety, tradition, connection, etc.)?
Who do I want to be in this process, and how do I want to show up for myself and my baby?
Honoring Your "Why" in Birth Planning
Once you’ve identified your why, use it as a guiding light when making birth choices:
Choosing Your Birth Team: Surround yourself with providers, doulas, and loved ones who respect and support your why.
Crafting Your Birth Plan: Your why should shape your birth preferences—whether that means prioritizing a VBAC, planning a home birth, or advocating for specific interventions.
Preparing Mentally and Physically: Birth is as much a mindset as it is a physical event. Educate yourself, practice affirmations, and engage in activities that align with your why.
Advocating for Yourself: Your why is worth protecting. If you face resistance, remember that your birth belongs to you.
My "Why" as a Doula
As a birth worker, my why is deeply rooted in advocacy and empowerment, particularly in supporting Black maternal health and VBAC journeys. My own birth experiences and background as a nurse have shown me how essential it is to have informed, compassionate, and culturally competent care. I became a doula because I believe every birthing person deserves to be heard, respected, and supported in their choices.
Whatever your why is, know that it is valid, powerful, and worth honoring. When you birth with intention, you set the stage for a transformative experience—not just in bringing your baby into the world, but in stepping into your own strength.
Are you still exploring your why? Let’s talk about it. I’d love to support you on your journey!
